Separating while still living in the same home is more common than many people expect, especially for parents who are trying to keep things stable for their children or who cannot immediately afford two households. You can be “separated under the one roof”, meaning your relationship has ended in a real and practical sense, although you continue to share an address.
This concept arguably matters most when you apply for a divorce, because the Court needs to be satisfied that you and your former partner were separated for at least 12 months before your divorce application is made. If you were separated under the one roof for some or all of that 12-month period, you will need to provide extra information to show that you were genuinely separated for that 12-month period. If you were in a de facto relationship it is also very important that you identify the separation date as you will only have 2 years from the date of separation to complete your property settlement, or commence proceedings in the Court for property settlement.
Separation is not necessarily defined by moving out but rather, a change in the relationship. In simple terms, separation happens when at least one person decides the relationship is over and acts on that decision. It is possible for one person to consider the relationship finished while the other does not accept it, but it is important that the decision is communicated and that the way you live reflects that the relationship has ended.
When the Court considers whether separation under one roof existed, it is looking for evidence that your relationship ended and that you started living separate lives. There is no single factor that proves separation, and the Court will look at the overall picture. The most common areas the Court considers include changes to sleeping arrangements, household arrangements, financial arrangements, social presentation, and the way you communicate and make decisions.
Sleeping arrangements are often a good starting point because it is straightforward; many separated couples stop sharing a bedroom. If however that is not practical within the layout of your home, the Court could still find that you were separated if there were other factors present evidencing that you were no longer acting as a couple.
After separation, couples often stop doing the kind of tasks that reflect a shared life, such as cooking for one another, doing each other’s laundry, shopping together as a couple, or cleaning and maintaining the home in a joint and coordinated way. Many parents will still however coordinate children’s meals, school preparation, and household routines for the children for consistency for the children. The distinction is whether you are operating as a couple or simply sharing a residence.
Financial arrangements are another significant area as after separation, many people start separating their finances, which might include having separate bank accounts, dividing responsibility for bills, changing who pays for groceries, private health cover or beneficiaries for superannuation and life insurance where appropriate. Continuing to share some expenses like the mortgage, does not prevent separation, but it helps if you can show that the way money is managed changed after separation.
If you can show that you stopped presenting as a couple, this could be good evidence of your separation under the one roof. That might include telling close friends or family that you separated, no longer attending social events together, ceasing shared celebrations such as anniversaries, and not portraying yourselves publicly as being in a relationship.
For parents, there can be grey areas because you may attend children’s events in the same place at the same time. The Court however generally understands that co-parenting requires cooperation. Taking children to school, attending a school event, sharing information about medical appointments, or coordinating extracurricular activities does not mean you are still in a relationship. What assists is evidence that, despite both being present for the children, you were not behaving as a couple, and that people close to you understood you were separated.
Communication and decision-making can also reflect separation. After separation, people often reduce their communication to practical matters, particularly about children, housing, or finances. Where there is continued emotional intimacy, or shared future planning as a couple, that can create doubt about whether separation truly occurred.
For divorce purposes, the Court will require you to file material explaining the period of separation under one roof. This typically involves setting out the date you separated, how that decision was communicated, and what changed in your living arrangements. Supporting evidence is also required from a third party who can confirm that you were separated, such as a friend, relative, neighbour, or professional, provided they have genuine knowledge of your circumstances. The aim is not to “prove” separation beyond any doubt, but to provide clear, consistent information that the relationship has ended and remained that way for at least 12 months.
Because separation under one roof can be misunderstood, it helps to keep a clear record of key events and changes from around the separation date. This might include messages or emails confirming the separation, notes of when separate bedrooms began, changes to banking arrangements, and any communications to friends or family. If you notified government agencies or service providers, those records may also assist.
If safety is an issue, or if there is family violence, coercive control, or intimidation, you should prioritise safety planning and obtain advice about your options. Separation under one roof should not place you or your children at risk.
Ultimately, separation under one roof is about substance rather than form. You do not need to fit a perfect checklist, but you do need to be able to explain, clearly and consistently, when separation occurred and how your lives changed from that point. If you are considering divorce and you have lived together for some or all of the 12 months after separation, getting advice early can help you prepare the right material and avoid delays.
Written by
Ashlea Taylor
Family Law Solicitor
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