It can be very emotionally challenging and one of the most difficult periods in people’s lives to go through a separation. Where there are then additional concerns for either your or your children’s safety as a result of family violence from your former or current partner, the whole process can understandably make you feel frightened, anxious and overwhelmed.
One of the main things that you can do to help bring clarity and focus to your separation is to think about and prioritise what is most important to you. Safety is a crucial and sometimes overlooked part of the separation process. Whether the risk is emotional, financial, psychological or physical, having a plan in place and knowing your legal rights and responsibilities can help you navigate this transition with less anxiety and more confidence.
Below are some key factors to keep in mind when separating from your former partner and remaining safe.
Prioritise Physical Safety
If you’re concerned about abuse, threats or escalating violence, you can help to secure your and/or your children’s immediate safety by:
- Contacting a Domestic Violence shelter or support service (for example in Newcastle there is services such as Nova for Women and Children, Got Your Back Sista, and Jenny’s Place). These services will be able to assist you in putting together a safety plan for your specific situation and provide you with some resources for actioning your plan. Whether that might be leaving your relationship and family home safely or safely ensuring you are able to stay in your family home.
- You may need to contact the Police if you have immediate concerns for yours or your children’s safety. Depending on the severity of your report, the police can make an application for an Apprehended Domestic Violence Order for your protection and will charge and arrest perpetrators for any unlawful behaviour.
- If you are fortunate to have a support network, you could also reach out to your support network for assistance with accommodation, financial or emotional support.
Secure Your Financial Resources
Separation often means untangling shared finances, which can be complicated and cause significant safety risks if you are being subjected to financial control or abuse by your current or former partner. Things you can do to secure your financial resources are to:
- Open your own bank account if you don’t already have one.
- Change your passwords to online banking and important accounts.
- Review your joint accounts and seek advice from a family law solicitor as to whether you can and should freeze or close any of these accounts.
Protect Your Digital Privacy
Digital safety is something often overlooked, however location tracking, and gaining access to personal accounts and devices is becoming increasingly common. Consider changing your passwords and security questions, turning off location sharing on apps and phones, checking your keys or other belongings for tracking tags and creating a new email account for legal and confidential communication.
Set Clear Boundaries
Even in low-conflict separations, behaviour can escalate and bring about risk to your safety. To reduce risk and protect your peace of mind:
- Keep communication civil and to the point. Try to keep most or all of your communication in written form, such as through text or email.
- If needing to meet in person, pick a public location where there are frequent public patrons, and CCTV footage. Avoid in-person meetings if they feel unsafe. Yu can alternatively use a neutral third party or supervised exchange service if necessary.
Work with Professionals Who Understand
Don’t be afraid to ask about their experience with clients who have experienced family violence. It is important for you to feel understood and supported by the professional services you employ – whether that is your legal team, mediator or therapeutic and allied health services.
Taking these steps to protect and promote your safety will help you feel empowered to make considered decisions for the remainder of your separation.
Written by
Sophie Wilson
Family Law Solicitor
It is also important to speak to a family lawyer first. We have experienced solicitors in Newcastle and the Central Coast area that can help you through your family law matter.
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